A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. e.g.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
One of Joella's personal favorites.
I began my sojorn into the jungle, appropriately enough, with a nickle tour of the country's biggest hydro-electric dam. An mamouth operation located deep down within the center of a mountain. My thinking being, before visiting a black hole, why not visit the source of all light.
Do not argue with an idiot.
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 
You're never too old to learn something stupid. 
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! Sidebar: It was interesting to note that the only two non-mechanical displays present were a large modern art piece 
and a religious shrine.
and a religious shrine.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Overall; the grandeur, noise and enormity of modern man's engineering accomplishments were too much for me and, so, I retired to my cheap motel room at the base of an active volcano on the edge of the selva (jungle) for a restful night's sleep.
A calendar's days are numbered.
In the morning, after winning a "Who's breath is freshest contest" and
and taking a quick bath in that same volcano's thermal runoff
I was ready for the jungle!
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Sorry, I'm not a botanist/biologist and all I do is shoot 'em to share 'em, not label 'em.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Minature waterscapes can be just as dramatic as gigantic ones, if you give them a chance.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
When they say all is green, they aren't kidding!
Some people hear voices.
Some see invisible people.
Others have no imagination whatsoever.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Some cause happiness wherever they go.
Others whenever they go.
Suddenly, there were hotwater falls everywhere like from a giant's kitchen faucet.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because
it was a weapon of math disruption.
And then, there was the one little noteworthy thing about the lagoon's ferns...
they were the size of small cars.
I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn’t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president
and 50 for Miss America ?
A backward poet writes inverse.
At first I thought it was just mushrooms on a nurse log, but then I saw an army on the move.
I quickly ran away, only to find myself in a rock maze with no way out.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:"
Don't join dangerous cults: 
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I quickly ran away, only to find myself in a rock maze with no way out.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:"
I write "DOCTOR".
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Don't join dangerous cults: 
practice safe sects.
Of course, the bat's alive. I wouldn't pick up a dead one, they're yucky.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
They're holding your room for you. 
A will is a dead giveaway.
We discovered we scream the same way
whether we're about to be devoured by a great white shark or
whether we're about to be devoured by a great white shark or
if a piece of seaweed touches our feet.
Well, much time has passed since we started this pilgrimage and now it's a week before Christmas and the end of another year.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
There are no decorated holiday trees with blinking lights here on this Central American beach; but the moon is going to be very full tonight and the sea turtles will be coming in to lay their eggs. Only one of which for every 5000 of those baby tortugas will make it safely back out to sea after hatching.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Hopefully, you'll have better odds at happiness than that next year; so we wish you and yours the only things worth desiring, love and peace on Earth.
